revenge: chaos— or… wait no, “chaos” sums it up pretty well

A few things. Revenge is still using this… thing, which obviously a straight out of middle school, Photoshop novice created, and which is understandably awesomely terrible.


Second of all, lest you be mistaken, this shot of Ol’ Droopy Dan looking dead is extremely misleading. And yet, this is how we begin the episode.

The theme of this episode is “Chaos,” or as I like to call it— straight up babytown frolics with a light dosing of tomfoolery. Honestly, I couldn’t even follow it just now when I was skipping through to take these awesome screenshots. But these are things I do know— the Sensei man has crazy eyes and wants to get Emily back on the righteous path of REVENGE laid out for her by the Count of Monte Cristo; It seems like Daniel is dead, but really he’s just being framed for the murder of Ty Ty; Charlotte is boring, but is trying to use a pill addiction to make herself… more boring and/or more one dimensional, because let’s face it, even an addiction to the hard stuff (she might be taking baby aspirin, as far as I know) couldn’t help her; and that damn dog is still alive. Let me use more SCREENSHOTS to demonstrate (I know, I’m really on an insufferable kick right now, so feel free to not bear with me).

This is not sexual, just Ty Ty’s own paltry attempts at skullduggery and amateur vengeance.

This is not pensive, it’s whiny. As in, “My mother led me to believe she was raped! My sister is on the edge! I’m sitting around in dim lighting waiting for you to get home, but I’m not going to murder you because I want to marry you and whisk you off to um… Paris? Yes! Paris!” Yeah Droopy Daniel? You think your life is tough? Try being an orphan. In middle America. Like Annie.

Grandpa Grayson is still the most terrifying man in the Hamptons, and also he encourages that nobody deals with their problems with therapists, lest the Grayson name be soiled. He does all this with a straight face— by straight face, I mean looking like a deflated half-man/half-toad whose face was partially eaten by a grizzly bear.

Nolan is pretty torn up about Jack leaving to help orphans/build churches/whatever in Haiti because… he’s so selfish. Also, what is with this man and his affinity for wearing a billion (read: two) polo shirts at one time? What is this chicanery?

And then like, blah blah, gunshots, blah blah, someone’s dead on the beach, blah blah it’s not Daniel, like we expected it to be, and like the very first scene showed us it would be. But! Daniel has blood on his shirt, so everyone thinks he’s the killer when it’s clearly Sensei With Crazy Eyes—

Fine, they don’t look that crazy. But trust me, they are.

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